in a faraway land

in the faraway land of rub-a-dub everyone lived in the local pub they drank whiskey, ale and bock and played the tuba around the clock there was an old woman who lived in a crab and ate fried rhinoceros by the slab she ate it with mustard, she ate it with mayo and sang in the tub all the live long dayo there was an old man who lived in a lobster he was a friend of uncle bob, sir his only companion was a garter snake and they dined every evening on raw beefsteak when i woke up in the wind and snow i heard a voice calling me from below my father was a drainpipe and my mother was a rat they kept me in the cellar so i wouldn't get fat they wouldn't let me go out and play so i carved toothpicks the livelong day with the sword of doom and a boy scout knife the best friends i ever had in my life there was an old man who lived upstairs he had a collection of folding chairs he folded them up and he folded them down i think his name was henry brown the billiard parlor had a big tv there for the whole wide world to see and every night i heard it say walter cronkite passed this way