Let's offer up our prayers to a finicky Father
who sits in his segregated heaven, rocking
away senility on that rickety chair
with a spare, tall back wrapped in striped wool blankets.
Who sits in his segregated heaven, rocking?
Our Father, keeping his heart warm against the gusts.
With a spare, tall back wrapped in striped wool blankets
perfectly square (but too small to share with others),
our Father's keeping his heart warm. Against the gusts
and idling time, again he stays busy carving figures
perfectly square but too small to share. With others,
these tokens will help the faithful remain fertile
and idling. Time again, he keeps busy carving figures
on the edges of a pesky map. Mad for expansion,
these tokens will help the faithful. "Remain fertile!"
Father cautions, as he watches a big screen TV.
On the edges of a pesky map mad for expansion,
many errant souls who wander are unable to hear
Father's cautions. As he watches a big screen TV,
the devil's slipping him a low-ball offer to buy
many errant souls. Who wander are unable to hear
news heaven's economy is still struggling, and
the devil's slipping him. A low-ball offer to buy,
our aging Father mulls over hot oatmeal and tea.
8 comments:
The caustic, wry, cutting tone is very well-done. I love the humor.
Really good humor, a wry one and full of wit.
what a curious and impressive poetic form!
the emphasis through repetition and creating links by a change in the punctuation... was a 'fatherly' trick...
it really worked!
:)
aging fathers has formerly been raging fathers... devil is just a projection...
;)
Frances - that was coool. Why I am put in mind of Kurt Vonnegut? There was a story of his with a father a bit like this, who had a bottle of anti-age medicines, I think. Frances, this is very graceful poetry. Thanks for it.
P
this some what cuts...
you writers really have a way with words.
goo stuff
really well done pantoum, Francis!
"Who sits in his segregated heaven, rocking?"
great line,
Another clever witty one. Made me smile. Well done.
I always wondered how he spends his days now days.
Thank you.
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