I came to think of something with indefinite contours approaching from obscure vegetation. The alliteration enhanced that feeling. Nice poem.
So brilliant that you use a lemon tree... a tree with such sharp, grabbing scent and sight.I agree with Jenny-- the alliteration creates a pleading whispering for attention. Lovely.
Really nice. I love the overall feeling of things turned upside down.
Jenny,your instincts on this poem are quite close to what I was thinking in the writing... not that that's always the point (know what I mean)... thanks for the kind thoughtsMegan,can ya almost taste it! some zest is always good... bitter sweet lemon drops... you ever have those drinks?Francis S,Thanks for the comment... I like the world (or the sky) upside down as well... maybe that's something to do with all the reading of Finnegans Wake I've been doing lately... ;)
you do turn things upside down here. I also read this as a meditation over life, its general rules and multitude of wishes.
thanks andre... kind of an inverted bode tree, eh? wonder what the Buddha would have found if he'd been thinking on his head?
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